illwillbill's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[homer.swf]

Utter Crap

Well, I'd like to start off by telling everyone how this got on the front page. Maybe this will be a lesson to you to vote more intelligently...

When people on Newgrounds love flash, they usually review with all 10s, and give a perfect 5 for the rating.
When people on Newgrounds hate flash, they usually review with all 0s, with a 0 for the rating.

Yep. A few prepubescent Newgrounds viewers decided to throw an organized fit of "ROFLOL" into a review, and gave this just enough 10s to hit the front page.
Congratulations children, you have brought this filth onto the front page with your poor judgement and rating.
A round of applause for you.

Now, my review...

Graphics - 4
Poorly drawn stop frame animation, and deformed Simpsons and King Of The Hill characters. This should be enough to keep this off the front page, since a cartoon would be a radio show without visuals.

Style - 2
There are far too many of these cartoons online, where nothing in particular is going on, and no storyline is revealed. I'm responsible for a few. They don't, or at least shouldn't, hit the front page.
People usually bitch whenever no storyline is revealed. I'm surprised that this isn't the case here, especially since this is one of the worst cases of it I've ever seen.

Sound - 1
Corny old cartoon sounds and Nintendo sounds, and a crappy bubblegum pop song too. Pure piss.

Violence - 4
Giving violence a "4" is generous.
There was some creativity in the violence though. I quite enjoyed Lisa's legs kicking to the tune of a classic Nintendo jingle.

Interactivity - 1
A play button? WOAH!

Humor - 6
Just because it's mildly funny, fellow reviewers, doesn't mean it deserves a 10 everywhere.

Overall - 4
Definitely does not deserve to be on the front page.
Let's be a little less frivolous with our ratings next time, hm?

[Cellar Door]

Umm...

Wow. After Donnie Darko hit hard up here, I thought it was irritating hearing kids quote the movie and be a rebellious badass just like Donnie was in the movie. Now it's being projected onto flash. Ick.

First of all, the artist/cartoonist's number one rule : Everyone's inspired by something. The ones who are considered "creative" or "original" are just better at covering up what inspired them.
This is true for anything and everything. David Firth is inspired by Renee French. Some of his stuff is exactly like Renee French's stuff, down to the very last detail. Of course, I myself am influenced by Renee French as well, but I have received other things as inspiration that cover that up.

Point being : You made it completely obvious what inspired you, which was clearly Donnie Darko. Not only did you use the term "Cellar Door" (a memorable quote from the movie) but you used the same exact music, and practically the same message. You could have just as easily used *other* piano music, such as the works of Aphex Twin on the Drukqs album. There were many fine piano pieces that were very similar to what you used, but not actually from that movie.

So for the record : Donnie Darko wasn't a deep movie. It was an attempt at combining drama-depth and sci-fi, which didn't turn out as well as I had hoped.
Your movie appears to be similar. I have given you a three.
If you're going to rip off someone else's work, have reason behind it, and at least be able to cover it up.
Better luck in the future. (Future. Ha. Donnie Darko joke. Shutup)

[Salad Hunter]

The reviews for this are just brutal.

"If you are giving this submission a low score, please offer constructive criticism that will be useful to the artist. The review space is not a place for you to act like a total asshole. If your review is found to be mean, offensive or generally not helpful, you will be banned and your account may be terminated."

Tom Fulp, I am now in love with you. These is the exact message that I've been copy/pasting to these retarded misfits for ages, yet (as you can see from the reviews for this movie) nobody seems to follow what it means. Oh well. Here's my review.

I enjoyed this cartoon very much. Mostly for personal reasons, but I still enjoyed it. You did a good job of recreating that twisted bastard-character as well as painting the screen with his head, and I much appreciate this submission.

I'm almost sorry I've been without this cartoon for this long. This is actually going in my favorites.
Good work.

[A Psycho's Dream]

Yes, finish it, with some improvements.

The gradients, as previously mentioned, do really effect the graphics. They jump and skip around, making it look very sketchy.
Only use gradients when ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, and never use the preset ones, as they look mediocre.

The music had a nice mood to it. I like this style of flash too, and there isn't much of it around. I'm glad you're trying this.

Some of the violence could look a bit better, like the girl getting shot at point blank... I don't know. It seemed like her head was almost not impacted by the bullet at all. That could use work.

I do like it though, and considering it's not done yet, there's tons of room for improvement. ^_^
Have fun making this. I'm sure the final product will look grand.

[Salad Weebl]

Interesting Idea

It would have been better if Weebl did this, considering that he has Salad Fingers AND Weebl & Bob on his site, even though he didn't make Salad Fingers.
It appears that anything resembling something else here at Newb-Grounds is a ripoff, and should be blammed. Amusing stuff, is it not? I submitted Crapville. OOOH! IT'S SOUTHPARK say the Noobs. I submit Crander Macroll. OOOH! IT'S SALAD FINGERS say the Noobs. I don't know how the hell you got Salad Fingers out of ANYTHING I've submitted, but nevertheless. This is not about my submissions, its about yours.
Forget what any of these other peckerheaded twats say. This was alright. I don't think it should have been front page, but it was alright.

["Target Practice"]

Jeff Weise, you would have been my best friend.

These people on Newgrounds don't have a clue what they are talking about. Insanity is a disease, and so is cancer. The media doesn't cause cancer. Violent music doesn't cause cancer. It also doesn't cause insanity. It is something you are born with, and you can live, die, and carry on with it. People say that you are an asshole for doing such a thing.
You are not an asshole. You released this video, looking for help. A few people saw it merely as a means to entertain the public eye. They did not see this distress signal you have activated, so you took it upon yourself. However, the media didn't cause this. Nothing did. You were born this way.
Insanity is a gift. You gave it to charity. May you rest in peace.

[A New Bunny]

...ow...

people complained about my videos having too many beeps, but in this movie they are louder than anything else. now i have a throbbing headache.
but it is a nice headache. i voted 5. good stuff

[Joe Fish]

i learned something about you

you obviously play counter-strike
because you over-use their sounds.
oh, and when he gets blown through the air, it sounds like he is giving birth.